Daily check in June 13, 2018

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alliesmama4
Posts: 2302
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:10 pm
Location: Southern IL

Re: Daily check in June 13, 2018

Post by alliesmama4 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:40 pm

icfrugal1 wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:32 pm
Today would have been my fathers 97th birthday, he smoked and died 32 years ago at the age of 64 :(

I miss him everyday. He was not perfect, but he was all forgiveness . He got custody of me in 1964 when i was 14, that was not usual in the 1960's.

Why did it take me until my 60's to realize why a not wonderful daughter I was?? (I didn't drink or do drugs or run (very) wild)

His real gift was forgiveness, I so wish that I had spent more time with him.

IC
IC not sure about your feelings on what happens after we pass on. I feel we still have communication with our loved ones in thoughts and verbalization. They cannot communicate with us but I do talk to my parents and tell them my feelings and I think they do receive them. Keeping things internally is not good so tell your Dad how you feel and why.. I was in counseling in my 50's for a sexual assault that I had as 8 years old. I kept what happened to me internally all of those years and it affected my whole life. I finally went in to counseling and it helped to verbalize it..The counselor told me to write a letter to the person who violated me and how it made me feel. Then I was to burn it to let the pain and fear go. It was healing to write down my feelings and then to burn it. Even thought the person who hurt me did not read the letter my thoughts were there and then when I burned it I was letting go of what happened to me. Maybe you could do that to let your Dad know how you felt and to let him know how much you you appreciated his gift of forgiveness. You do not need to burn the letter but just write down your feelings and why you feel that way. This has helped me so much. ((hug)) Janet Alliesmama
Janet Alliesmama

colonialgirl
Posts: 1174
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:01 am
Location: Central Illinois

Re: Daily check in June 13, 2018

Post by colonialgirl » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:33 pm

Late check in today. So sorry so many of you are feeling down. I am so sorry.

I worry about you FCL as I have been where you are. My mama and I were so close and the pain of that loss seems almost unendurable. There was nothing in my life that she was not a part of - through sharing if not participation. I am glad you are taking medication for anxiety. I spiraled down for a year and was too stubborn to get help. But when I started thinking life was too difficult to live, I got medication that really helped. It didn't fix me but it took enough of the edge of that I could function. I wish I had some fix to offer you. The loss is always there but it does get more bearable.

Logics - bless you. Your sister should be thanking God for you. You have pulled her back from the edge so many times. I think you have step back from her problems. She clearly only functions in chaos and nothing you can do will stop that. Save yourself.

Nothing going on here today - have been down with pain today - so no accomplishments. My biggest accomplishment has been reviewing the daily videos of the volcano. I am absolutely fascinated with this event. I wish I could go to Hawaii and see it first hand.

Well feel better friends. My sweet mama's favorite saying was "this too shall pass"/ God Bless.

icfrugal1
Posts: 1962
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:54 am

Re: Daily check in June 13, 2018

Post by icfrugal1 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:40 pm

alliesmama4 wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:40 pm
icfrugal1 wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:32 pm
Today would have been my fathers 97th birthday, he smoked and died 32 years ago at the age of 64 :(

I miss him everyday. He was not perfect, but he was all forgiveness . He got custody of me in 1964 when i was 14, that was not usual in the 1960's.

Why did it take me until my 60's to realize why a not wonderful daughter I was?? (I didn't drink or do drugs or run (very) wild)

His real gift was forgiveness, I so wish that I had spent more time with him.

IC
IC not sure about your feelings on what happens after we pass on. I feel we still have communication with our loved ones in thoughts and verbalization. They cannot communicate with us but I do talk to my parents and tell them my feelings and I think they do receive them. Keeping things internally is not good so tell your Dad how you feel and why.. I was in counseling in my 50's for a sexual assault that I had as 8 years old. I kept what happened to me internally all of those years and it affected my whole life. I finally went in to counseling and it helped to verbalize it..The counselor told me to write a letter to the person who violated me and how it made me feel. Then I was to burn it to let the pain and fear go. It was healing to write down my feelings and then to burn it. Even thought the person who hurt me did not read the letter my thoughts were there and then when I burned it I was letting go of what happened to me. Maybe you could do that to let your Dad know how you felt and to let him know how much you you appreciated his gift of forgiveness. You do not need to burn the letter but just write down your feelings and why you feel that way. This has helped me so much. ((hug)) Janet Alliesmama
Thank you so much fro your kind thoughts. I do go to the cemetery, not as often as I should , in fact we are going this week. When there I do talk to him, my mother grandparents and a set of great grand parents. :lol:

I'm 67, I don't know why this one is hitting so hard, I guess that that is life sometimes.

IC

floridacatlover
Posts: 1738
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:21 am

Re: Daily check in June 13, 2018

Post by floridacatlover » Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:17 am

colonialgirl wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:33 pm
Late check in today. So sorry so many of you are feeling down. I am so sorry.

I worry about you FCL as I have been where you are. My mama and I were so close and the pain of that loss seems almost unendurable. There was nothing in my life that she was not a part of - through sharing if not participation. I am glad you are taking medication for anxiety. I spiraled down for a year and was too stubborn to get help. But when I started thinking life was too difficult to live, I got medication that really helped. It didn't fix me but it took enough of the edge of that I could function. I wish I had some fix to offer you. The loss is always there but it does get more bearable.

Logics - bless you. Your sister should be thanking God for you. You have pulled her back from the edge so many times. I think you have step back from her problems. She clearly only functions in chaos and nothing you can do will stop that. Save yourself.

Nothing going on here today - have been down with pain today - so no accomplishments. My biggest accomplishment has been reviewing the daily videos of the volcano. I am absolutely fascinated with this event. I wish I could go to Hawaii and see it first hand.

Well feel better friends. My sweet mama's favorite saying was "this too shall pass"/ God Bless.
Thank you, CG. Sometimes I just want to be with my mom but it only lasts a few minutes and I would never do anything. Mom would not approve. She loved life so much even until the end when she was so frail. I have the pills for anxiety because I'm so high strung and my doctor asked me if I wanted something for depression but I said no. (Not sure if those two would mix.) But I could always call her and I have another appt. in August. I'll be OK. Just have to keep busy. My friends and I have planned another outing for next week.

P.S. I'm interested in the volcano, too. I haven't followed it the past week or so but know a lot of homes have been destroyed. Maybe you'll see it on your Hawaii cruise, but hopefully (for the residents) it will be dormant by then.

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