Loved it.
I needed the laugh.
Penny
Because we need a laugh
- MackerelCat
- Posts: 7257
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:44 pm
Re: Because we need a laugh
These funnies were posted on our neighborhood Next Door page today:
If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
I normally don’t brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the gas station.
Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try to be nice to it.
When a kid says: “Daddy, I want mommy” - that’s the version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor!”
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up … that’s a squat, right?
Brain cells, hair cells, and skin cells all die constantly, but freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life.
Sometimes I look at people and wonder “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”
You know you are old when your knee gives you a more accurate weather forecast than the guy on TV.
You can tell a man exactly where to go in your purse and he’ll bring the entire purse back.
If you don’t use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, you must be in a whole different tax bracket.
How do people go to sleep as soon as they close their eyes? It takes me 4 hours, 7 pillow flips, 11 different positions, 2 trips to the bathroom and a partridge in a pear tree.
My going-out-clothes have missed me so much. I put them on and they hugged me so tightly, I could barely breathe.
Does the jelly in a donut count as a serving of fruit? Just asking for a friend.
You know you are old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone, to get to the year you have to spin like you’re on Wheel of Fortune.
Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?
If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
I normally don’t brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the gas station.
Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try to be nice to it.
When a kid says: “Daddy, I want mommy” - that’s the version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor!”
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up … that’s a squat, right?
Brain cells, hair cells, and skin cells all die constantly, but freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life.
Sometimes I look at people and wonder “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”
You know you are old when your knee gives you a more accurate weather forecast than the guy on TV.
You can tell a man exactly where to go in your purse and he’ll bring the entire purse back.
If you don’t use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, you must be in a whole different tax bracket.
How do people go to sleep as soon as they close their eyes? It takes me 4 hours, 7 pillow flips, 11 different positions, 2 trips to the bathroom and a partridge in a pear tree.
My going-out-clothes have missed me so much. I put them on and they hugged me so tightly, I could barely breathe.
Does the jelly in a donut count as a serving of fruit? Just asking for a friend.
You know you are old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone, to get to the year you have to spin like you’re on Wheel of Fortune.
Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?
Mackie
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- Posts: 1896
- Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:33 am
- Location: Brandon, Manitoba CANADA
Re: Because we need a laugh
I TOTALLY related to the Fat Cells laugh!!MackerelCat wrote: ↑Wed Jan 19, 2022 6:33 pm These funnies were posted on our neighborhood Next Door page today:
If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
I normally don’t brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the gas station.
Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try to be nice to it.
When a kid says: “Daddy, I want mommy” - that’s the version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor!”
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up … that’s a squat, right?
Brain cells, hair cells, and skin cells all die constantly, but freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life.
Sometimes I look at people and wonder “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”
You know you are old when your knee gives you a more accurate weather forecast than the guy on TV.
You can tell a man exactly where to go in your purse and he’ll bring the entire purse back.
If you don’t use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, you must be in a whole different tax bracket.
How do people go to sleep as soon as they close their eyes? It takes me 4 hours, 7 pillow flips, 11 different positions, 2 trips to the bathroom and a partridge in a pear tree.
My going-out-clothes have missed me so much. I put them on and they hugged me so tightly, I could barely breathe.
Does the jelly in a donut count as a serving of fruit? Just asking for a friend.
You know you are old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone, to get to the year you have to spin like you’re on Wheel of Fortune.
Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?
Hope has a good imagination.
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- Posts: 8591
- Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:10 pm
- Location: Southern IL
Re: Because we need a laugh
MJ and Mackie. Thanks for the laughs. I really needed them today.
Janet Alliesmama
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- Posts: 3983
- Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:53 am
Re: Because we need a laugh
I am sitting here laughing so hard...boy ..did I need this! Thank you both SO much!