I am Fine

This is the front porch of our forum. Pull up a chair, and talk about whatever's on your mind.
casadekitty
Posts: 1206
Joined: Fri May 20, 2022 5:05 pm

I am Fine

Post by casadekitty »

Hello all,

First off I just want to say thank you so very much for all of your thoughts and prayers.
I am doing okay, I think I was in shock for some days and I have been able to come out of it. I am still very sad and feel at loose ends in many ways but I really am doing okay.

I have made a list of all of the things that he always helped with or took care of and have been working on that list. I knew we did lot of stuff together but he really did alot of stuff that I didn't have to worry about because thats just the way he was.
Like firewood, I have some ordered. Snow removal...I have a company lined up. The heavy weed eating yard work that I simply could not physically handle, help lined up.
Hauling off stuff that I didn't need/want...doing it myself.
I have always been one to take care of myself but had slowly let him take some things over and now I have to step back up. I have no problem hiring out things I can't handle.
I have not yet gone thru his things here at home. Too soon, but I will eventually.
Please don't worry about me, I really am fine ...it may not last but taking day by day. IF I find myself going to a dark place I will get help...I won't try to be a hero.

Thank you again, love to you all.
JCKitty
User avatar
MackerelCat
Posts: 7257
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:44 pm

Re: I am Fine

Post by MackerelCat »

(((HUGS))) It's good to hear from you.
Mackie
Beverley
Posts: 553
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:33 am

Re: I am Fine

Post by Beverley »

Hi JCKitty,
Its great to hear from you. The initial shock does start to subside after about a week. Right when I lost my DH suddenly friends and family came over and helped me take care of things I could not do alone. I struggled to even write out checks to pay the bills and had one of my friends review my work before I sent them out. She accompanied me to the mortuary and then to the bank to take care of financial matters. People brought me food so I didn't have to worry about meals.

Later on there were some things around the house that I had to do. I was so used to running things by DH and vice versa I found myself discussing everything with DS and DD. They were teens at the time and most likely did not have a clue what I was rambling about. The major decisions that I could put off I did. I followed the rule of waiting a year before making any major moves. That really helped a lot since then I was able to make rational decisions.

DH did a lot of fixing around the house and i figured out how to do all of that. If I had questions I called my brother who is very handy.

I would have to say the main thing I was dependent on was computer related things. He had always made it clear that was his territory so I was clueless about tech things but the kids helped me out. Things have changed so much techwise in the past 19 years he has been gone so I just muddle through the best I can.

Recovery takes a lot of time and the best thing is to not be pushed or pressured about things. Put off what you can and for those things that can't wait enlist the help of family and those you can trust. You will get through it but understand it will take a lot of time. Just coast along the best you can an eventually things will get sorted out.

Take care my friend and talk to us on MFH whenever the need strikes. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

Beverley
ChristmasTrees
Posts: 3982
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:53 am

Re: I am Fine

Post by ChristmasTrees »

Very glad to hear from you. It IS such a shock when it is sudden. You take care of YOU. We all love and miss you. I know you are a very strong and independent woman....but just for now....let others take care of you a bit.
Hugs,
Trees
User avatar
Jackielou
Posts: 13423
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 7:51 pm

Re: I am Fine

Post by Jackielou »

JCKitty, I am glad that you posted. I will continue to lift you up in my prayers.
Jackie
http://inthelandofthelivingskiesii.blogspot.ca/
mbrudnic
Posts: 4497
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:57 am

Re: I am Fine

Post by mbrudnic »

Thanks for checking in with us.
Post Reply