Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

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Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by delighted99 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 7:19 pm

I can understand why you've been away. All of the health issues plus a wedding in the mix. Go ahead and wear that dress again. I'd be surprised if anyone besides your daughters noticed. :D

I'll pray for your situation.
frugalmom wrote:
Fri Aug 03, 2018 1:35 am
SandiSAHM wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 10:47 am
Has anyone heard from Ellen Marie?

I was reading something about California real estate and it hit me I haven't read anything from her in... months?
Hi Sandi! Thank you for thinking about me! It has been a tough and busy few months! My laptop went kaput and been using my cell as a computer but hard (cell went kaput too for a while there). Today I was doing some important work and dd is home from college so I borrowed her laptop. Both of my daughters want to buy me one but I do not want them to waste their money as they need it. I do not want to buy one for myself right now bc I am saving as much as possible for dd's college tuition esp since I think pretty soon we will be winding down and have no income coming in at all.

DH in neuro rehab-knew something was off but hard to hear that he was like 1-7% cognitive level of men his age meaning like 93-99% of men are doing better than him! Although I did not know some of the words like flummoxed and gib,but even despite that it was pretty low. So long road ahead and they told us recently not likely to go back bc he is very slow in judgment, reaction time,etc. I have been looking for work,but despite me hearing all the news there is a good job market, I cannot seem to find anything. I am overqualified for some I am applying to or underqualified for the ones they keep sending me-like one place I want to work,keeps sending me stuff that you need a master's, etc. I know my resume needs work which I am going to have to pay someone to redo I think- most of my contacts (references-like bosses/supervisors have gone). Right now, I am worried but not panicked yet(well maybe a bit) bc Idk how long it will take to get retirement going or how disability works and we just made an appt but it is out til October! We will lose medical too right away.

Which brings me to one daughter-during the time she came off our insurance coverage bc she is 26 yo-told her to do all her tests,etc before she is off and she had one month til her new position kicks in their coverage. Everything was looking good bc she just graduated,got a raise and a new position and told her to lay low for the month til new health coverage kicks in. She is always saying she has the bad luck-like when she was hit by a car,she was hurt,BUT the guy's insurance company went under and she had to use MY coverage for her and she could not take off for work or she would be fired so she went in pain to work. Well that one month in lapse a few days into the month,one of the tests came back with cancer so she just had a biopsy and we are waiting for results. Her luck and that was not covered and now would be a pre-existing condition-BUT THANK GOD (I prayed so hard!) her job agreed to start her coverage retroactively to the date she started which will cover her. They do not do that normally but did it for her in this case!

Then my BFF of 30 years told me she had esophageal cancer.So it has been a rough road. Anyway, waiting for dh's neuro rehab to be done which I still need to go for conferences,etc so I want to wait really to get a job til I know it is done so I do not have to take days off when I first start a new job. Also have to kind of monitor dh bc they said he is not aware of safety like they have a kitchen set up and he failed to recognize hazards and like he has left the fire on and forgot it on a few occasions. Like idk I thought it was just bad headaches and bad dizziness which was the main problem and loss of balance,and I knew cognitively something was not right but it is like maybe early stages of like a dementia or something which is scary. I am hoping it will get better with the therapies which it has improved some but then the dizziness and headaches getting worse(apparently central nervous system is affected after testing and from the head injury) and he will still test visual, They told us bc he was sent to them too late in the game, it is why it is so bad and harder to get better. And they are still fighting us playing games,after a few weeks they deny again-it was bc of independent medical review that forced them to treat us to begin with after fighting for a year so they had no choice so they let him get treatment and now playing games with us again and denying. It really wears you down-we are tired of fighting them.

Enough of the sad stuff,well the good news...son graduated with his master's,dd graduated with her bachelor's,dd in second year of college and both of us are saving(she has a job now although minimum wage) for tuition and apartment(sharing with 5 people-small apt). So far we are trying to do it without any loans-although this year will be tough bc I do not know when the ax will fall. Son getting married soon-still do not have my dress-do not really want to spend money and thinking maybe I can wear something I have or the one I wore to my other dd's wedding (does that look bad-you could not see my whole dress in the pictures before). I feel bad I am not giving him any money as my first priority will be the college tuition/apt rent,but he and his future wife make good money. Still feel bad bc her family gave them like 25k(later added more but idk how much) and she is inviting over 200 guests. For my side, bc I am not giving anything, I just invited family and 2 bffs(we have a large family though,but think many will help. me knowing our circumstances). Then my first grandchild is turning 1 yo in a week! He is so chubby and cute-he has the red chubby cheeks and looks like the Gerber baby! The Irish side really came out in him!

So humbling experiences...trying to hang in there. What is nice is with the counselor she says it is nice to see couples like us who are so in tune with each other. She says a large percentage of head injury patients do not make it through the stress and end up divorced,etc but she thinks we are supportive of one another. Although I can see how it could break it up bc you have to have LOTS of patience-really testing my patience-lol! So think I got you guys up to date lol-yes,think I was only gone a couple of months! Whew, I am exhausted looking at all that-lol-oh getting my exercise in and now added meditation and yoga. It is giving me a sense of peace and calm at least-at least during the time I do it-lol-have been resorting to meditation(and lots of praying!) a lot lately bc of the stressful situations or news we keep getting. BUT I know no matter what, we will get through this....I am not going to let this beat me! Really being a longtime frugal mom helps (and really testing my frugality like never before) and luckily, I have a big enough savings which I have not even touched and refuse to touch, unless it is an absolute emergency or we have to live off of it til social security,disability or pensions or anything at this point kicks in-hope it does not take long from when we apply(but since it takes so long just to get an appointment to apply, I can imagine!)!

Note that I may not get a chance to get on again since my laptop is on the blitz! I will try to find a computer to get on or try on my cell but wishing you all well and certainly better luck than I am having-lol! I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and kindly thinking of me. Thank you for letting me get all of this off my chest-lol-now do you regret to ask how I was doing!? LOL <E>:lol:</E> My life is certainly never boring!OMG I thought I LOST this whole essay bc it said I had to sign in again to respond to Sandi's quote and it came out blank then I saved it as a draft when I pushed back and it would not save(but you know how tech savvy I am!) So got it back and copied and pasted-like if I lost that whole thing and had to write it all over again-yikes!

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Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by alliesmama4 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 10:02 pm

Ellen Marie I am so sorry to hear what all you are going through.. Will keep you and your DH and whole family in my thoughts and prayers.. If you can check in with your local library I think most of them do have computers and if you have one close enough to you maybe you could stay in touch more often.. (( hug))

Love from your friend ..Janet Alliesmama
Janet Alliesmama

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Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by gaylejackson2 » Sat Aug 04, 2018 1:25 am

Oh EM,

What a rough road you've had lately!! ((Hygs)) to you! I’ll tuck your family in my prayers.

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Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by frugalmom » Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:56 pm

Hi everybody! THANK YOU ALL for your concern! I MISS YOU ALL! Thank you for your prayers too! Daughter is negative for now. BFF is having an esophagectomy (OUCH that sounds painful!)-will be there for her. WC playing games again-probably have to get another independent review again as they continue their delay tactics! My dh told me one guy had a nail gun deploy into his head and wc blaming him that he wanted to commit suicide so refused to pay! He said why would I scream for Help if I wanted to kill myself!? That is horrible! Did I tell you my dr got arrested for child $#%^ and lost his license and in jail at 74 yo-that is the dr they picked for me-great...sheesh!? nephew (about 34 yo) just got into a DUI in another state :(! He has really gone downhill after his divorce which really affected him and put him into depression. He hurt someone else. Well mom and dad just got divorced and dad(dh's brother) went to another country. He was trying to find another wife since he got lonely and was also devastated his wife left him. So he is having fun there(got lots of 20+ year olds wanting to marry and use him-told him come on,they are after your money and want a green card!). He has beautiful girls wanting him(it is funny bc he is older than their parents!). I told him you are just setting yourself for another headache. Well,bc his son needed to be bailed out and to fix the car so brother asked us to borrow money to give his ex-wife so they could take care of it. I did not want to bc that is the money I was saving for my dd's college tuition that I worked hard for! BUT my dh would not listen and told me to give it to him bc he needed it. I know he will eventually pay back bc that is one brother I do trust BUT Idk when he will be back bc so far he wants to live over there and he will not be back before the tuition is due! My kids are upset with me I did that and told me it was stupid and to bail out a loser with no responsibility or job and never wants to work and he will just get into this again! But my dh tells me you would bail out your own kid if you needed to and brother has always helped us without us even asking and he would buy us 7k tvs,closets,etc. He has the money bc I have his bank stuff since I am taking care of it but I cannot withdraw anything but I know how much he has. So Idk what I am going to do... I have some money but it will be very tight and I do not know how long it will last given I have to make apt rent too. Plus we declined the loans already bc we had it-I am worried sick about it and dh does not understand but he gets mad at me even if I mention it(he is very protective of his brother-whenever he used to come in a bad or upset mood or even calls with a mood-then my dh will in turn get upset and get upset with us). So I am stressed over this now!:(

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Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by SandiSAHM » Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:15 pm

Wherever he is, he can get online, right? have him transfer the amount or send it (with enough to cover the transaction fee) via Paypal.

Posts: 916
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:46 am
Location: Oklahoma

Re: Does anyone know what's up with FrugalMom (EM?)

Post by SandiSAHM » Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:20 pm

You know... he could also paypal or transfer funds directly to his ex, no need to go through you guys. Which is what I'd tell my own DH's bro to do because that nut, we'd never see a dime back.

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